I’m grateful for the difficult people in my life. Yes…really!

Is there a full moon today?

Am I in the Twilight Zone?

Am I being Punk’d?  Candid Camera? (I’m dating myself with that one!)

So a few years ago I founded a Facebook support group for people in chronic pain called “Attitude of Gratitude with Chronic Pain.”  I was looking for a positive chronic pain/illness group and I just wasn’t finding it.  The other groups were all so freakin’ depressing and I just wanted a place where I could get some positivity, motivation, and even gratitude.  I don’t want to dwell on my problems……I live with the hurt all the time.  I wanted to find a way to stay happy while living with this.

So I started it!  And it’s been awesome!  It’s even getting pretty popular with about 1,200 members to date!  And these people are just awesome and inspiring and I’ve truly found my tribe.  We help each other get through the hard days and it’s this awesome cycle of gratitude.  I love it and am so grateful for it.  My roommate from rehab is even on board as an admin with me!  Haha.

Surely anyone who joins a group based on gratitude is easy to deal with, right?


Within the past 3 or 4 days, I have had the most bizarre run ins with people from my group!  3 different people intentionally trying to pick a fight with me for some unknown reason.  2/3 of them I’ve never even had a conversation with before!  It has left me scratching my head and wondering why they would want to join a group based on gratitude in the first place…but maybe that’s the reason.  Maybe they aren’t happy and are trying to find gratitude in any place they can and are just having a hard time with it.  Maybe….

Living with chronic pain is HARD.  If you’ve ever had an acute injury or illness, you know how hard it is when you are down for the count.  But then you get better.

Imagine never getting better.  You can put on a happy face for a long time, but there are some days where you just want to kick and scream, because you hurt!!!!  You can reach a breaking point. And then you get it out of your system and put that happy face on again.

So maybe these 3 all reached their breaking point this week and decided I was the one they were going to go after.  I dunno.  I’m still shaking my head and even chuckling a bit because it really feels like I’m in the Twilight Zone!  I won’t tell you the situations, because it’s not important nor is it kind.  But trust me, you would be shaking your head too.

So how do I find gratitude when I encounter difficult people in my life?  I bet you do too and you don’t even realize it.

  • I am grateful that I am not them.  Or at least them at that moment when they decide to be difficult.  Look…we ALL go through bad periods. I’ve had many, MANY times in my life where I regret how I’ve acted towards someone….I’m far from perfect. But during the times when wrong has been done to me, after the hurt is gone I’ve learned to be grateful that I’m not them and also to pray for them (thank you to my amazing 12-Step programs for helping me with THAT one!)
  • I’m grateful for the lessons it teaches me and I learn how NOT to act.  I’ve learned to look inside myself and judge if I handled it in the best way I possibly could and if I’m able to put my head on my pillow at night knowing that I was kind and also true to myself.
  • I’m grateful that I’ve learned how to swiftly remove these difficult people from my life!  Haha.  Seriously, I used to try to change these people….I must have been a glutton for punishment or something.  All that would get me would be more hurt and I would be surprised time and time again that these negative people would wrong me.   DUH!!!!!  Well I’m a slow-learner apparently, but….get this one….when I get rid of those people from my life I am exercising not only self-care but self-compassion!!!!  True story!!!!!

So hopefully this weird “full-moon/pick on Lauren” stage is over.  But if it’s not, I’ll be able to handle it.  I’m way stronger than I used to be and it’s a direct result of keeping gratitude at my default setting.  I’m tellin’ ya’ guys, it’s a gamechanger!

Keep coming to to get your gratitude on!

ps.  These troublemakers are no longer in “Attitude of Gratitude with Chronic Pain” (I may have compassion and gratitude, but I’m not a doormat either!)  ?


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Eloquently taking the high road. I, too, used to think I could change people with my love & understanding. It was painful. Until I FINALLY learned the lesson: what you see is what you get. No judgement just need to count my blessings and stay away. They are the way they are due to circumstances they were exposed to. I believe they’re doing the best they can, but have been damaged. Damaged more than me. And I’m not being self-righteous. I was enlightened and learned to thine own self be true. I should not put another’s needs before my own… Read more »


Hey….thanks for the compliments! Thanks for the opportunity to share my thoughts.

You & your new Blog ROCK!!!


LOL! That was great, my buddy! What a tag line on fb, you had me laughing before I read your BLOG ENTRY!!! Spot on, filled with Laurenkindness and insight. You really do rock, you funny, sweet friend.
Can’t wait for the next one! xo


SO sorry for your friends’ HUGE loss. How devastating. This damn country needs to address the heroin addiction issue as they do in other countries. Where the addict is monitored when giving his/her dose & Narcan given if needed, TO PREVENT THE FATAL OVERDOSES. Our country does it ALL wrong. I believe it’s a brain chemistry issue. There are REASONS a person CRAVES. I think the doctors’ name I’m referring to is Dr. Amien. A French cardiologist who came to the U.S.A. years ago, was an alcoholic and did studies, using himself Xmas the test subject, yarn eventually others. Again,… Read more »


Bullet 3! But I surely agree with all.