I’m not sure where the term ‘God moment’ came into my life. If I were to guess, it would be since getting sober almost 4 years ago and being introduced to a whole new lingo that only other people who are in recovery would understand. Who knew there was this whole new way of speaking that I would have to get used to?
Not only are there all these sayings that get thrown at you from every which way when you come in as a newcomer….
- “One day at a time.”
- “It works if you work it.”
- “Keep coming.”
- “Time takes time.”
- “Come for your drinking, stay for your thinking.”
- “Take what you want and leave the rest.”
- “Stick with the winners.”
but there are words too. Words that either I’d never heard before, or words that certainly didn’t come into my day to day language the way that they do today:
- Squirrely – feeling antsy, wanting a drink & not knowing what to do instead.
- Resentments – a.k.a. ‘sobriety killers’
- Network – your program friends a.k.a. ‘sobriety insurance policy’
- “Pink cloud” – a period of time when life is grand because you’re sober that everyone warns you will come down fast and hard and you’d better watch the hell out because it’s another ‘sobriety killer!’
And then there’s ‘God moments.’
Now, of course, I knew what a God moment was prior to coming into recovery- a coincidence. fate. serendipity. They’re things that happen that leave you saying “You can’t make this stuff up!” They’ve happened for me my entire life…so what is the difference now that I’m in recovery?
The long and short of it I would say it’s GRATITUDE. Gratitude keeps my eyes open for all that is around me. It keeps me in the moment so I can take in exactly what is going on in that certain little speck of time.
Being sober helps a lot too. My eyes couldn’t possibly be open to what was around me when I was drinking. I was too busy numbing myself and wondering ‘why me?’ in regards to my chronic pain. Basically…I was pushing God out (or as another one of our cheesy little slogans in my fellowship goes: EGO-Easing God Out.) I was playing God myself and not trusting that He had my back, I had to take matters into my own hands so I could feel the way I wanted to feel.
But not today. Today I am a sober woman and I am prouder of that than just about anything else in my life (minus my extraordinary kids.)
So because of being sober and living in a state of gratitude, I am much more aware of these God moments that were probably happening all around me while I was out of my mind several years ago, but was too blind to see them. And lately, it seems as though I’ve had so many of these gorgeous moments happening! There’s one, in particular, that really had my head spinning and had me laughing and thinking….because it was just so obvious that I was trying to be told something. It still has me smiling.
If you’ve been snooping around my website at all or are part of my “Attitude of Gratitude with Chronic Pain” (AoG) group on Facebook, you are most likely aware that I often talk about my mentor, Dr. Bruce Singer. He was the Program Director and also founded the Chronic Pain & Recovery Program at Silver Hill Hospital where I was a patient 4 years ago.
Dr. Singer was one of the people that put gratitude in my ear as a remedy for chronic pain. I learned so much from him and will always look to him as one of the pivotal figures in my life, as he taught me how to build a life from a place of rock bottom. I even have a page here on GA under the ‘chronic pain’ tab called ‘black ducks’ which talks about a theory he uses with his chronic pain patients to live a better life. He told me that rock bottom could be the foundation on which I can rebuild. I didn’t think it was possible, but he was right. I’ve worked hard, and I’ve rebuilt….a BETTER life, in fact!
In the years since leaving Silver Hill, Dr. S. and I have remained friends and he has been tremendously supportive of my work with gratitude and within the chronic pain community. Last week, I was pleasantly surprised when I was tagged in a Tweet of his!
Needless to say, I was so honored. I tried to think of something clever I could respond with. In looking at his message in the post and the meme in talking about the breath, I thought that I would look back at my “Gratitude Project” from last year and see if there was an entry I did on breathing. Then I could post it as a reply! Surely I must’ve been grateful for that, right?
So I looked. And I found it! Day 82!
wait…what day is today?”
No! It couldn’t be!
But it was!
The same. Exact. Date.
I was floored. I messaged Dr. Singer immediately and he couldn’t believe it either. We both laughed and he mentioned the experience on his Twitter page (which is @blackduckmoment for anyone looking for some inspiration on mindfulness and/or chronic pain) and I mentioned it in AoG.
It has now been over a week since it happened and I still cannot quite believe it. When things like this happen today, I feel like my Higher Power is talking directly to me…trying to tell me something.
Nowadays, I am smart enough to close my eyes, breathe, open my ears, open my heart and listen for the message.
There are NO coincidences.
Have any God moments of your own? I’d love to hear about them!
p.s. It’s been 4 years and my ‘pink cloud’ has not burst. Gratitude, baby…gratitude.